Kevin and I are geniuses

Why don't they pay us to write more movies? Paramount, you're missing out on a goldmine here.

The following is a conversation that Kevin and I had on AIM this evening.

Me: Would it have killed them to make a Captain Sulu movie?

Kevin: Yes. One episode of Voyager is enough. And a novel! His mission was like ten years, too, right?

Me: I think so!

Kevin: MAPPING. GASEOUS. ANOMALIES. For a decade!

Me: Pshaw. FIGHTING MIRROR UNIVERSE SULU. Now that would be a movie, my friend.

Kevin: I bet HE always has his sword!

Me: And then Chekov has like an eyepatch and a monkey. In the mirror universe. Tuvok could wear a little hat with dangling pieces of cork.

Kevin: A STABBING MONKEY. Specially bred for STABBING THINGS.

Me: A STABBING MONKEY WITH A PHASER

Kevin: Ook! Stab! BURN! Oh, and those agonizers are like kid's meals prizes on MIRROR SULU'S SHIP.

Kevin: You wake up and if you're not being agonized, you must be the captain.

Me: They have more nookie with communications techs in the Mirror Universe than most people do ALL VOYAGE.

Kevin: Well, they get most of their female officers off the Orions.

Me: GREEN COMMUNICATIONS TECHS.

Kevin: Captain, we're being hailed by the Romulan commander. "Shut up and show me your tits."

Pirates are the new monkeys. But the old monkeys still kick ass.