This is why we buy the extended warranty on laptops

AppleCare is sending me a box which I will use to send my laptop to the repair facility. Should arrive tomorrow, even.

Of course, now I have to figure out how to back up data on a machine that I can't really see. Wait. What am I thinking?

I work in a room full of monitors and projectors. I have another monitor. And network cables. Zoidberg is the winner! Hooray!