He's at your command

Looking around the Internet today, I see lots and lots of links to the Chevy make-your-own-Tahoe commercial, which reminds me a bit of the Bush-Cheney sloganator.

They've been fairly underwhelming to me from what I've seen, but I haven't spent a lot of time looking at them. OK, this one from the mighty Norbizness is good.

It's not too late to start saving up for your very own Gigantor. It's a thing of beauty, but four figures seems a bit steep.

Because it's Thursday

I was reminded of this as I was watching old episodes of the Colbert Report on TiVo.

Speaking of Mr. Colbert, I hear he has a book deal in the works. (Please, please, let it be Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad Seven: Lady Nocturne: A Tek Jansen Adventure. PLEASE.)

Bear Holding A Shark

Jeffrey Rowland finally figured out how to make Larry the Cable Guy funny.

Bear Holding A Shark Fever! Catch it!



This shirt is so popular that the Brothers Chaps (of Homestar Runner fame) have to go make some more. It's either a Mysterious Myth or Legendary Legend, but either way, good for them.

Nah, what you really need is more bitching about cameraphones

John Rogers could save the movie industry if only somebody would listen to him.

Because I will tell you right now, right here, how to get people to go back to seeing movies in theaters. Without disruptive technology. Without theater upgrades. All for, oh, $4.65 an hour per screen.

I will now save your industry:

Hire. Fucking. USHERS.

It goes on from there and you should read the whole thing. He's a wise man.

I would also mention that maybe making movies that didn't suck might also help. Larry the Cable Guy, for example. WHY THE FUCK DID THAT GET MADE? I believe that may be a worse score than Catwoman, which is quite an accomplishment.

Finished watching the season finale to Battlestar Galactica over the weekend, which was simultaneously painful and glorious to watch. Though how I will wait for October for Season Three is a bit of a mystery--on the other hand it's almost April right now.

I think I may have missed the two-year anniversary of this blog. Either that or it's coming up again. Huh.

[Edit] I continue to confuse Mark Rogers (author of the Samurai Cat books) with John Rogers (author of many things, one of them cat-related)

You asked. They answered

Evidently the buzz behind Snakes on a Plane is so big that New Line is reshooting a bunch of it to push it from PG-13 to R territory.

n any event, "Snakes"-ophiles already were hard at work. Chris Rohan of Bethesda, Md., created an elaborate, R-rated audio trailer that lovingly mocks the title and movie. "It's a genius title," Rohan said. "It's so stupid it's great. It invites satire, but it's something you just love. It's something I can't explain. You either get it or you don't."

The audio bit uses a Jackson sound-alike shouting, "I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!" Soon, the growing legion of fans added their voices as they demanded that that phrase also appear in the movie.

Apparently, the studio got the hint. When Ellis assembled Jackson and others for the recent shoot, the filmmakers added more gore, more death, more nudity, more snakes and more death scenes. And they shot a scene where Jackson does utter the line that fans have demanded.

If only we could have used a similar process to get Lucas to shove the entire cast of the new Star Wars movies into the trash compactor.

Fly the Friendly Skies

OK, ever go from not knowing something exists to absolutely wanting it RIGHT NOW?

A model of the dropship from Aliens. Done by Japanese companies that get it right.



Also, if you look at that picture, there's an Eagle from Space:1999 in there. One hopes a decent Starfury model is forthcoming.

A special thanks to Cassandra for the tip. Introducing me to this site is going to be hell on my wallet, I can tell!

In other news, the first Queen and Country novel is a doozy, and I'm sorta faced with the same problem I have with Battlestar Galactica. Just once I'd like something NICE to happen to these characters. Tara Chace gets to kill a lot of people in new and interesting ways, but her life is... not a happy one.

And no, I still haven't seen the BSG season finale, so don't talk to me about it until I can watch it on TiVo. Today has been very busy, what with my massage and drinking coffee and reading The New Frontier again.

But hey, tomorrow may kinda suck so at least today's been good.

Better than Free Slide Whistles and Brass Knuckles Night

The Los Vegas Wranglers, a semi-pro hockey team, had Dick Cheney Hunting Vest Night. The first 1000 lucky fans to show up received a bright orange safety vest.

Evidently the vests were so popular they are now for sale to the general public, emblazoned with the logo Don't Shoot, I'm Human.

Clearly the ideal gift for the hockey fan, hunter, or general person who does not want to be shot in the face by the Vice-President.

They interviewed the owner of the Wranglers on Countdown, and he said that their original plan was to give the fans the vests after an 18-hour delay, but they thought that might be a little bit too much.

SNAKES ON A PLANE

Forget the t-shirt.

Forget the fake trailer on YouTube.

Marvel at the insanity that is...

SNAKES ON A PLANE

Snakes. On a plane.

It's making me think my dream of a movie about Brian Blessed and John Rhys-Davies fighting crime has a shot at making the bigtime.

Also, I found my Visor. It was in my bag the whole time, right where it was supposed to be. I love it when I do that. Love it.

Here Visor, Visor, Visor...

Somewhere in either my office or my car is my Visor. It appears to have vanished in a puff of smoke. Odds are I've left it somewhere clever at home, since it is nowhere to be found in my office this morning. Of course, somebody could have helped themselves to it as it was sitting in my cube. Which would suck, b

Oh, the comics I purchased yesterday. Though oddly enough, I didn't read many of them when I got home. I did read part of the marvelous DC Showcase Presents: The Superman Family, but mostly the story about Jimmy Olsen being Superman's x-ray vision dog.

An idle thought: What was Jimmy's health deductible like? I mean seriously, if you knew a guy hung out with the Man of Steel all the time, would you insure him? Let alone the cost of property and casualty coverage in Metropolis...

Spending some time at work becoming acquainted with ISO 9001:2004 certification. On a BBS I once frequented, there was a joke forum called Continual Improvement Through Total Quality. Now that's my day job.

I got potion!

Japanese commercial for a Final Fantasy XII-influenced beverage. (As seen on the SA forums...)

Tool-using monkey

My stereo died the other day, victim to some heat-sink issues on the power supply. So I was left with a huge paperweight, which just happened to have five CDs of mine buried in it.

Last night I pried the case apart and removed the CDs from the mechanism, which was a bit easier than I thought it would be. So now I have my Renaissance Mix Collection CDs back, which I've been missing quite a bit.



Talking with friends the other night, I was reminded that I don't have a single Babylon 5 DVD set in my collection. Which is weird in a lot of ways, given how much I loved the series. (I still dream about it sometimes, where my subconscious has plotted out events in seasons 6,7,8, and 9. Yes, my subconscious evidently writes fanfic.)

Currently reading Thraxas, which appears to have invented a new genre: fantasy noir detective fiction. Good stuff.

You read my mind // Oscar bitching

Flipping back and forth between the Oscars and the St. Louis / Vancouver game.

(As I type this, Ang Lee just won Best Director for Brokeback Mountain.)

Tired of endless fapping about Disney on Boing Boing? So dp other people.

So do you hate Cory or something?

Not really. I’ve read Boing Boing for a long time and only recently realized that I wasn’t really interested in it at all. And Cory’s posts are the worst. It seems like everything he writes is either about his DRM crusade, his book signings or Disney. I figured I could write a simple algorithm to quantify how much each post sucked, so I did it.

I wonder how long before xenisucks and marksucks comes out? Because every goddamn post Xeni has is about when she's gonna be on TV/radio/some soft-core cheesecake site.

I have no money riding on the Oscars at all, and I think I've seen maybe 10% of the films up for nomination. I keep meaning to see Good Night and Good Luck, as I love Murrow and am a huge fan of Clooney...

Gilliard's blog has a great post about Oscars and how they really don't mean all that much. The breakdown of what won as opposed to what's probably the better film is quite interesting.