On a lighter note. . .

In an effort to brighten my mood, I started poking around on the Internets.

New pictures of Katamari Damacy 2.

(Link courtesy of BoingBoing.) Looks like there are levels set in a classroom and underwater, so that should be interesting. I still need to unlock the Eternal levels on the first game, though.

It's getting to the point where I'm going to have to schedule my hobbies along with everything else. Time really does appear to be speeding up, with the climax in 2012 if I remember my Invisibles correctly.

Soft reset

I think I figured out why my Visor has been having trouble HotSyncing to the PC at work. Well, not why it's happening, but how to deal with it--performing a soft reset appears to do the trick. I will know more tomorrow.

Now if only I could restart my day the way I reset the Visor or any video game.

It started this morning at 4 am when my cat knocked over a thermos mug of coffee. Somehow the sound of liquid pouring all over the stack of Noble Causes next to the bed woke me up. (Good thing they were in bags, I guess.) It got worse from there, involving the ATM money gods refusing my prayers, a near-miss with a parking ticket, and then not really sitting down at my desk for an hour and some change.

Now I find out Mitch Hedberg has died. You can read some of his material on Wikipedia, but it's very very hard to recreate his diction in text--the delivery was killer. The most successful effort was the Onion interview he did last year.

Housekeeping

A couple of things...

Answer me these questions three.

1) Did you go to UC Berkeley?
2) Do you fall into any of the following categories:

• Individuals who submitted applications for graduate school at UC Berkeley for the semesters between Fall 2001 and Spring 2004
• Graduate students who registered at UC Berkeley from Fall 1989 through Fall 2003
• Recipients of doctoral degrees from 1976 through 1999
• Other small groups to be named later (yeah, I have no idea either)

3) Do you like movies about gladiators? Admittedly, this one is a bit of a red herring...

Anyway, the fine folks at UC Berkeley lost a laptop with 98,000 names on it, and one of them could be yours! They've set up a Web site and have a 1-800 number, but my friend who suspects she's on the list has not had any luck getting a hold of a human being there. The response by Berkeley has been underwhelming, though to be fair they are looking at a massive amount of liability if they admit any wrongdoing. If only we had a Congress who was interested in protecting citizens from fraud (the new bankruptcy bill has no provisions about identity theft protection) instead of grandstanding on religious holidays...

Do you have batteries in your house?
Fun facts to know and tell about batteries, courtesy of my local metropolitan organization. Radio Shack will recycle your rechargable batteries, too. And as always, do not trust the Pusher Robot.

I am working on another comic cover remix, but it's taking a while as I have been really really busy lately. Sorry.

Presented for your amusement

Two things that made me laugh a lot this morning.

John Rogers talks about the backstory to I Love Lucy. See, now THIS program, I would watch. I always wondered why these particular characters hung around with each other--now I know.

Did I mention that I'm overjoyed Billmon is back? Well, I am. And he pointed me to this blog, which I am going to hell for because I laughed at it. Somebody is sick and wrong.

Lunch is coming up in a bit--I think I might go to the bubble tea place that popped up near campus, but I'm also inspired by the awesome ladies at Taco Addiction and am craving taco-y goodness. As Gir says, I need tacos. I need them or I will explode. I do that sometimes.

Edit: I posted this thing at 11 am, but as of 5:20 pm it still hadn't shown up on the blog. Grrr.

Authentic frontier gibberish

Blazing Saddles pops into my head in the weirdest moments.

I was reading this post by Warren Ellis (who nails why the new Kojak feels... wrong):

KOJAK DOESN’T CRY.

Kojak isn’t anyone’s fucking daddy, Kojak makes women’s cervixes pucker and invert in spontaneous orgasm just by looking at them, Kojak brown-trousers the bad guys with a flick of his lollipop and KOJAK DOESN’T FUCKING CRY.

As I read that, the first thing that I thought of is "Marty Johnson is right!" (Which goes back to the town hall meeting the town of Rock Ridge holds after being attacked by Heddy HEDLEY Lamarr.) I watched part of the new Kojak, and occurs to me that it's following recent trends.

Somewhere along the line, every crime drama caught CSI / Law and Order: Traumatic Extra Horrific Rape Victim Unit disease. When in doubt, write the most grisly shit possible, since that is a fine substitute for character development. Once upon a time, a murder mystery would involve a body and some action as the detectives solved the case. Now we have mind-numbing deal and pathology, where everybody gets to be an armchair forensic fake scientist, complete with razor blades dripping blood into lungs and car crashes and oh my god the humanity make it stop I just want to have a nice day and watch the horsey shows.

"Who loves ya, baby?" has been replaced by, "You can see by the fantail pattern of the blood spray that he was using a Desert Eagle .45, one of the most powerful handguns in the world with a muzzle velocity sufficient to cause hydrostatic shock in the extremities with just a wound to the neck... The semen in the exit wounds indicate the killer watched too goddamn many Jerry Bruckhiemer shows..."

And yes, this is channeling a bit of Patton Oswalt, but he is one of the funniest people I have ever seen. We swipe because we care. And speaking of funny people, BBC America has taken to showing clips of Dylan Moran after Look Around You, the show that taught me iron's base form is brown iron. I need to find this guy's CD. Wait, looks like he doesn't have one, but he was in a couple of TV shows. Figures.

Go Team Venture!!

I can't believe none of you told me this!

Season Two of The Venture Brothers is GO.

For those of you who are not familiar with this show, it's one of the smartest programs on TV today--the story of Dr. Thaddeus Venture, his bodyguard Brock Sampson, and his two sons Hank and Dean. (I originally typed that as "Hank and Dead," which slightly spoils the ending to the first season. Sorry.) Throw in a next-door neighbor who channels Doctor Strange, an arch-villian named "The Monarch" with his girlfriend named Doctor Girlfriend, and the incredible evil of the Brisby corporation, and you've got comedy gold. (The teaser image for next season will make a fine desktop.)

This makes up for the fact that nothing in this city is open today. Annoys me to no end. What if I needed to buy liquor or a new rain hat or a copy of Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex 3? Hrm? Did you ever think about that, City of Roses?

Now Fox needs to get off its ass and order another couple seasons of Arrested Development. Another new episode tonight, where Gob and Buster use Buster's new fake hand in a magic act. Guest starring Ben Stiller, even.

But I guess they'd rather pull a Sci-Fi Channel and run Hot Mansquito on a Stick or When Feminists Attack or whatever.

Happy Oyster

KoL Update:
In the Kingdom of Loathing, the Enchanted Flying Oyster visited in the night. Oyster Eggs can be found in many parts of the Kingdom, once you buy a basket in the market and equip it.

I've had some success in finding eggses--found a guide that helps with locations.

There's an Eddie Izzard routine about chocolate and Easter that may make an appropriate reading for today.

‘Cause Jesus I do think did exist, and he was, I think, a guy who had interesting ideas in the Gandhi-type area, in the Nelson Mandela-type area, you know, relaxed and groovy; and the Romans thought, "Relaxed and groovy?! No, no, no, no, no!" So they murdered him. And kids eat chocolate eggs, because of the color of the chocolate, and the color of the... wood on the cross. Well, you tell me! It's got nothing to do with it, has it? You know, people going, "Remember, kids," the kids who're eating the chocolate eggs,

"Jesus died for your sins."

"Yeah, I know, it's great!”

“No, no no, it's bad, it's bad!”

“ No, it's bad! It's very bad. It's terrible! Whatever you want, just keep giving me these eggs."

Every year around this time, my mom sends me a bunch of marshmallow Peeps. When I was younger, I loved the bunnies, but I appear to have lost my taste for raw sugar as I've aged. I read somewhere that children have more taste buds than adults. As we age, they die off. Which might explain why kids don't like spicy food much, but adore sweets.

I won't turn down chocolate, mind you. And I like a little coffee with my milk and sugar. But I think I've passed the days when I could eat handfuls of candy.

Started this entry almost two hours ago--I've been engrossed by Whale Rider all morning. Why Kiesha Castle-Hughes didn't win Best Actress, I'll never know. And the actor playing her grandfather? He should have at least received a nomination.

(I also note that Ms. Castle-Hughes has a role in the last Star Wars film. Again, now Lucas is asking me to rethink the idea that might need some of my money.)

I got a bad bad feeling about this...

And not just because the BSG writers are smacking the hell out of my brain with the season finale.

The SciFi Channel is doing a "behind the scenes" thing about Sin City. This is almost always a bad sign. They did one for Event Horizon. The did one for Dreamcatcher. The X-Files. The Hulk.

Sensing a pattern? OK, so I never did see the Hulk film.

The first part of the Battlestar Galactica season finale just ended. If you need me, I'll be vacuuming my brains up off the carpet.

It's so easy! Happy go lucky!

Binder, who originally pointed me to the glory that is YATTA!, found a new awesome thing.

Numa numa!

I cannot stop watching this. It's infectious and it loops, putting it more in the Badgers camp than Yatta, come to think of it.

Numa numa yay. Numa numa numa yay.

Why do we blog?

NPR, in its all-feeding-tube¹, all-the-time frenzy, has been digging up people to tell us all what it means. They had an ethicist on, asking what it means to live. It sounded more like the intro to a syllabus than an actual essay or anything, but anyway. Who am I to contradict the great-and-powerful NPR, funded as it is by our mighty conservative corporate masters?

First, there are bits like this, where one can point to awesome Daily Show segments.

Or this story about actual dinosaur flesh discovered in the middle of nowhere. Flesh, preserved for 70 million years. The mind fucking boggles. Note to scientists: I fully expect to see cloned miniatures of these in dinosaur shows by 2012, or no Nobels for you.

Then there is this long piece by Billmon, which explains why he used to blog, why he stopped, and how he started again. (Which is a good thing. I missed the Whiskey Bar when it was closed. I also miss Counterspin, which was removed after the election.)

But as I’ve noted before, blogging is a strange drug. When you’re clean, it’s not too hard to stay clean. But once you start using the stuff again . . . man, the monkey can get his claws in your back pretty damn fast. So one post led to another, and then another. And, well, pretty soon I was back freebasing.

A coworker of mine once described my blog like this:

Grrr, Bush. I hate him so much. And Cheney, grrr. And Rumsfeld, and HEY LOOK! COMICS AND VIDEO GAMES!

Variety is the spice of life, really. All things in moderation, even moderation. Is that one of the Oblique Strategies?

(Speaking of which, there's a Konfabulator widget for those now. It's good.)

Maybe we just do it for the cat pictures.

---

¹ - It's to the point now that the word "feeding tube" sounds in my head just like Lenny in the episode of the Simpsons where Homer becomes the union rep.

   Homer: [thinks...]
   Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
   Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
   Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
   Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
   Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
   Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
   Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
   Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
   Lenny's voice: Dental plan!
   Marge's voice: Lisa needs braces.
   Lenny's voice: Dental plan!

Replace "dental plan" with "feeding tube" and that's what it's like for me to watch or listen to any news.

Batzarro

BoingBoing has a pair of links to a story about running vampire bats. The footage is hypnotizing. There's also a story about an octopus wearing a coral disguise.

Nothing to see here. We're just a hedge.

Are you using Firefox yet? If not, you're missing out. Tabbed browsing, and now the Web Developer Plugin. The most useful plugin I've ever seen. Validate pages, outline various elements, view every link on a page, view every image on a page, spot troublesome links without titles, images without alt tags, etc. It's even better than Man-in-a-Can or the Little Wooden Boy. OK, so if you don't develop Web pages it may not do that much for you, but I've been jazzed about it all evening.

In other news, I managed to resurrect our Handspring Visor for some testing purposes. I'm somewhat ruined by apt-get and Fink, as I keep expecting the Palm manager software to just go out and find the newest versions of Frotz, Rally 1000, BigClock, etc., and install them automatically.

Still, I do like the Visor and the Palm for the way they boil down function into managable bits. If you've ever read The Design of Everyday Things, a good 10-15% of the book is devoted to how cool something like the PalmPilot would be. (It hadn't really been released when the book was written and then re-issued.) I see that the author has a new book out called Emotional Design. Perhaps he's been in some of my meetings...

Get your feeding tube on

The medical equipment speaks, courtesy of the fine, fine folks responsible for my fighting and filing fu.

This and Giblet's story about tragitainment are probably the last words on this matter as far as I'm concerned.

A friend of mine is talking about hunting for domains, and I am again reminded that although I own three separate domains, none of them are active at the moment. That's kinda depressing, since at one point I had such plans to host things at home. It would be relatively easy to set up, I just haven't done it yet.

Of course, there are some wiring issues to deal with, but what's another hole drilled in the house, right?

Currently reading The Iron Council, which I'm having more trouble enjoying than the previous two installments. The Scar was great Lovecraftian fun, and the overall mindfuck that is Perdido Street Station is something I can still feel aftershocks from a year after reading it.

Mieville's universe is as horrifying as it is compelling, and some day I really want to sit down and see if one could stat out an RPG for his world, since it seems fairly possible. He throws a ton of backstory out and it might be fun to distill that, as who wouldn't want to explore more of the world of vodyanoi, Jabber, and mad alchemists with hidden sentient robots. Good stuff.

Spring Break

So far this break hasn't been very restful.

I've been in meetings for the most part. Tomorrow I have... three? Something like that. Anyway, things will be light. Go amuse yourself at Achewood (they're back! hooray!) or learn about the various machinations of the Bluth family.

Gob: These guys are pros, Michael. They're gonna push the tension till the last possible moment before they strip.

Michael: They're not going to strip, are they?

Gob: I told them not to, but I can't promise that their instincts won't kick in.

Certainly beats reading the news. The words "feeding tube" have been said so many times, they've lost all meaning, just like "Jiminy jillikers."

Who watches the watchmen? A lot of people.

Newsarama story about a new, larger Watchmen edition.

Announced at today’s “Beyond the DC Universe” panel at WizardWorld LA was the next addition to DC’s very successful “Absolute” line this fall: Absolute Watchmen. The new edition of the classic Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons story is currently being adapted to the larger, “Absolute” format and recolored by original colorist John Higgins. The edition is being produced with the blessing of Alan Moore.

The edition will run 464 pages (and will also double as a blunt object if need be), and will be a complete reprinting not of the original series as published by DC, but of the Graphitti edition, a collection published by Graphitti in the late ‘80s that included 48 pages of extra material.

Guess I should start saving up for this now. I'm trying to figure what price point DC will ship this at, and it adds up to... expensive. But damn. Sounds worth it, depending on what the extras are.

Continental chainsaw

Florida is in the news again, this time with the ongoing saga of a woman whose brain has been mostly fluid for over a decade, the right-wing groups who back her family, and the temper tantrum of Tom Delay. Digby explains it all:

By now most people who read liberal blogs are aware that George W. Bush signed a law in Texas that expressly gave hospitals the right to remove life support if the patient could not pay and there was no hope of revival, regardless of the patient's family's wishes. It is called the Texas Futile Care Law. Under this law, a baby was removed from life support against his mother's wishes in Texas just this week. A 68 year old man was given a temporary reprieve by the Texas courts just yesterday.

Those of us who read liberal blogs are also aware that Republicans have voted en masse to pull the plug (no pun intended) on medicaid funding that pays for the kind of care that someone like Terry Schiavo and many others who are not so severely brain damaged need all across this country.

Those of us who read liberal blogs also understand that that the tort reform that is being contemplated by the Republican congress would preclude malpractice claims like that which has paid for Terry Schiavo's care thus far.

Those of us who read liberal blogs are aware that the bankruptcy bill will make it even more difficult for families who suffer a catastrophic illness like Terry Schiavo's because they will not be able to declare chapter 7 bankruptcy and get a fresh start when the gargantuan medical bills become overwhelming.

And those of us who read liberal blogs also know that this grandstanding by the congress is a purely political move designed to appease the religious right and that the legal maneuverings being employed would be anathema to any true small government conservative.

Like Kung Fu Monkey, I miss Republicans. You know, the guys who would ask you how you were going to pay for something, like feeding people or buying a new building or whatever. The ones who prided themselves on keeping the government (and the deficit) small, manageable, and out of your life.

Instead, we have the GOP-controlled Congress and the President creating special laws to overrule every court that's ever looked at this case, because the religious zealots that pull their strings don't like what they see. Then, when these are inevitably dismissed by judicial review (which is the whole fucking point of the judiciary branch and checks and balances, look it up in a civics textboook sometime), they'll cry "activist judges" and attempt to dismantle something else.

We should have taken heed after the fuckups of the 2000 election and chainsawed Florida off the continent. Give them to Cuba--after all, if the Miami Cuban refugees (who gave us the Elian fiasco, ran drugs for the CIA, have links to both the Kennedy assassination and Watergate, and forced 40+ years of madness in foreign policy) want to fight Castro, let them do it when he's running the place.

I don't know about you, but I am not comfortable with the Speaker of the House maligning private citizens. Particularly one as ethically-challenged as Delay is. The guy should be busy preparing for prison, not browbeating the House into passing a law that nobody outside of his core constituency agrees with. In the meantime, I'm going to go look at saws that can cut through bedrock.

Which color of Kryptonite does this?

One of the recent Spamusement cartoons made me wonder.

(I adore Spamusement. Particularly this one. Or this one. Or this one.) I know I've blathered about it before, but it really should have been in the sidebar a long time ago.

Well, Super Army War took everything that was good about Rescue Raiders and threw it out the window in favor of weird controls, completely random release of units, no extra guys, and a boring "America vs. some generic bad guy" story. Other than the direction units move in, you cannot tell the difference between units.

That's the beauty of GameFly, though. I played the thing for maybe half an hour, realized I'd already had as much fun as I was ever going to, and it goes back on Monday for something else.

X-Play is doing a series on the PSP vs. GameBoy DS. The first one is about the PSP--I think the idea of waiting until a price drop is a good one, as none of the launch titles look like they're worth $50. Given the slowness of transfer rates on the UMD format, perhaps there will be a PSP2 out soon that includes faster media. Still, that does look like one shiny screen.

Spent last night watching the Winterhawks beat the Seattle Thunderbirds. (Or, if you're the guy writing the checklist for the men's restroom in our section, the Thunderbribs.) A little hockey fix, though it doesn't totally make up for the complete loss of the NHL season. On the other hand, it was spent in good company and we had a lot of fun despite the exorbitant cost of stadium beer.

Again, my money is on the Prince of Cosmos

This one's been in my head for a while. Now it's in yours.

Where is my super-suit?

Watched The Incredibles last night--missed this in the theater for some reason but that is OK. This way we didn't have to listen to young kids screaming, "I don't like this!" like we did for A Bug's Life. What, a giant menacing grasshopper voiced by Kevin Spacey isn't pleasant? Dude!

The DVD is well worth getting. The short film "Jack Jack Attack", sort of a Letitia Lerner: Superman's Babysitter on acid, is worth the purchase price alone. Add in a video diary with Sarah Vowell, and well, they've dialed my number. I hear good things about the Clutch Cargo-inspired short film, but I've not watched it yet. On the down side, the Boundin short didn't do that much for me. Nowhere near as good as For the Birds. That short still cracks me up. The Cars trailer also does nothing for me--for the first time I am totally disinterested in a Pixar film. Not a single giant robot to be found.

There's a subtle hint of base sadness on the Incredibles Web site. Disney's pimping everything they can for the film--mobile phone wallpapers, ringtones, soundtracks, etc.¹ Losing Pixar may be the final nail in Disney's coffin, assuming Eisner doesn't demand to be pushed out to sea on a flaming EPCOT Center or something. But they have only themselves to blame--shutting down their animation studio, focusing on protecting the Mickey Mouse copyright beyond all reason, releasing "limited edition" DVDs of stuff instead of keeping material in print. There's a note on BoingBoing that somebody built a filter to elimate posts by Xeni--I am sorely tempted see if it can be modified to remove all the wanking about Disneyland on that site.

Damn. It appears that Andre Norton has died. I loved her work as a kid. She, along with Heinlein, Asimov, and Alan E. Nourse, were the chief reasons I got into the genre in the first place.

Norton requested before her death that she not have a funeral service, but instead asked to be cremated along with a copy of her first and last novels.

Born Alice Mary Norton on February 17, 1912, in Cleveland, she wrote more than 130 books in many genres during her career of nearly 70 years. She used a pen name -- which she made her legal name in 1934 -- because she expected to be writing mostly for young boys and thought a male name would help sales.

Damn. That's a classy request, though. I guess to emulate it I'd have to publish more than one novel. Seems possible.

¹ -- On a side note, I long for the day when I have as much control over my cell phone as I do over my computer--imagine paying Microsoft or Apple or RedHat a dollar every time you wanted to change your desktop pattern. I should be able to turn the shutter noise on the camera phone off. Every function is either locked down or requires a payment to some phone company. Stupid. Sorta like region encoding on DVDs. Why we allowed companies to do this to us is a mystery to me.

St. Sneaky Pete's Day

It's rollover in the Kingdom of Loathing already, and Jick's celebrating early...

He better start coding kolaches for St. Joseph's Day on Saturday. Come to think of it, so should I.

OK, it took me like 20 minutes to get this post working. Thanks, Blogger, for starting your celebration early. (Funny, I didn't know Web servers even liked beer, let alone green beer...)

Making friends wherever we go

First Bush names one of the chief architects behind the deaths of thousands of people to head the World Bank.

Then the Senate votes to drill in the Arctic Wildlife Reserve. For a couple teaspoons of precious, precious oil.

I'm getting the feeling that if Jeffery Dahmer were alive, Bush would name him to head the Department of Health and Human Services. Once again I thank the Founding Fathers for seperation of Church and State, or Reagan would have been canonized by now and we'd be forced to pray to him daily. I'm expecting the pardon papers for Ken Lay and Bernie Ebbers are already drawn up and they're just waiting for Christmas.

But this probably doesn't go far enough. There are still people swearing on the internets and TV! When will the FCC be given command over the Secret Service? Children will go to hell if they hear a swear word or see a breast! Perhaps that's why soldiers coming home from Iraq are done so under the cover of darkness--they might damn a child to hell with a curse word.

Then there's Mars! Mars, bitches! But DougBot, you say, what about the Hubble, which does science? Screw that noise! It's all about phantom trips to Mars and spending billions of dollars on a missile defense system that doesn't work even in tests designed specifically to make it work.

NASA needs to stop finding water on Mars. Look for petroleum--that's the only way we'll make it there anytime soon.

In search of... the barred knifejaw

The Magic Box has new pictures of Animal Crossing DS. Still debating on the GBA DS and the PSP. The launch titles for the latter are slightly more appealing, but the Wi-Fi goodness illustrated by this new incarnation of Animal Crossing has some appeal. Then there's the Final Fantasy VII movie, which may only be out on the PSP. So there's that.

If either of them get a port of Dragon Force, well, that would tip the balance.

Some minor tweaks taking place in Kingdom of Loathing these days. The rumored Ascension is coming along, and every once in a while I find a new-to-me thing. For example, my Chef-in-a-box exploded the other day after I attempted to make too many things with it. Durability, always so pesky.

What do you get when you mix Batman and Lego? Batman: New Times, from the DaveSchool. (Funny, I don't remember Mark Hamill working on any of my school projects! Mark! Mark! Let me tell you about my plan to revisit your character from The Muppet Show!)

New Times is worth watching, though I really wish they'd explored the world of LEGO more. I'm not expecting BrickFrenzy levels of LEGO action, or even LEGO Star Wars (which is sorely, sorely tempting me to revisit my vow that Lucas doesn't need any more of my money). But if you're going to take the trouble to model a world made of plastic bricks, make it worth the time and effort beyond aesthetic reasons.

i see you baby

searching that Web
searching that Web
searching that Web

(I'm listening to Groove Armada. How could you tell?) Kevin reminded me of this today, an interesting bit from Dorian. How do people find this little blog?

Some recent search terms:

image search for E80-LSH.jpg
I see this A LOT for some reason. Probably since I had a link to it in July of last year. (It's the Darkseid-failing-to-make-the-Legion picture.)

Book Report Monster Blood Giant
The Necromancer in Diablo II has a Blood Golem. I don't remember a Blood Giant or a book about one. But my money is that it probably involves cookie and juice at the end.

cartoon robots fighting
Hrm. There's Gundam and Dice and Megas XLR and Might Orbots and Robotech and Macross and I think T-Bob got into a fight in MASK once... I could go on and on, really.

giant robot 100
I read the magazine every now and again, but the last one I really remember was the one about the Peanuts museum. Here's the back issue list.

giant cartoon naked women destroying cities
Not only did people search for this, I am the #1 entry. WHAT THE HELL?!?! Clearly the people have spoken and this goes into the moleskin as a possible story idea.

transmetropolitan movie
I tell you, remake it with Spider Jerusalem as a Cat Fancy reporter and turn the Smiler into Martha Stewart, you've got box office gold.

justice league unlimited hats and clothes
I'm not a retailer. I don't even play one on TV. (When cast in plays, I was invariably a boy, a scientist, or a boy-scientist.) If I were to sell anything, it would be Homestar Runner stuff. I should forward that link to my shop--it's a license to print money, I swear.

boris pasternak doctor zhivago resume
You'd think this would be a googlewhack, but no.

Then there are a lot of people looking for giant robots. Aren't we all? Kevin still wins hands-down for beast boy robin penis though.

Jecht Shot rules

Watching Cinematech as they go over the opening movies for various video games. Final Fantasy X still looks pretty cool. There's about a 1 in 3 chance that you'll like the minigame included in any FF game. I was indifferent to the card battles in 8 and 9, but I really liked Blitzball. Other people, not so much.

Perhaps I should pick up that game again, as there is no hockey season. And so far most of the games we've been getting from GameFly have not been keepers. Burnout 3 was fun for about five minutes, marred by annoying voiceovers, monotonous gameplay, and exceedingly long loadtimes. I liked Samurai Jack, which felt true to the cartoon but didn't offer much in the way of gameply to keep me playing it past the first sequence. Plus, it started to exhibit jumpingpuzzlitis, which is what game developers do to pad out their game when they're running out of ideas. (The only jumping puzzles I can tolerate for some reason are those in Ratchet and Clank. Insomniac's come a long way since the days of Spyro the Dragon.)

Next up on the list is Super Army War, which sounds a whole lot like Rescue Raiders. That was a damn fine game on the Apple ][. Developed by Sir-Tech, the same folks who did Wizardry, your job was to battle terrorists through time by flying your helicopter and developing convoys of troops powerful enough to break through the defenses of your enemies. You could build tanks, anti-air missile launchers, demolition vans, paratroopers, and engineers.

The framework of the game was a mish-mash of time travel and battling through key fights of WW II, only this time with futuristic weapons like napalm and explosives. It didn't really need that framing to be a fun game, really. I suspect one of the developers was trying to insert some wargaming hobby into his project. Even today, when I hear the name "Cherbourg," I think of that mission in Rescue Raiders.

Finally finished Fables 5: The Mean Seasons. I really wish these trades came out more often, but I am happy that in this market of X-23 and Tomb Raider/Witchblade/Bondage Fairy crossovers, an intelligent title does manage to sell some issues now and again.

Some suggestions for flesh-based legislators

Given the passage of the bankruptcy bill in the American Senate, I calculated some probable bills in a similar vain. Look into the future and weep, hu-mans.

Special interests can funnel payment in the form of bulk gold, deuterium-enriched water ice, or whale songs to my manufacturer, Ichi Otaku Manufacturing Concern, New Prosperity Orbital, Earth-Luna L5 point.

Child Labor Act of 2006
Children are your future. In order to ensure that they get the best head start on their careers, the age at which they can work is reduced to eight years old. After a year of school to learn basic numeracy and literacy, they should be prepared for a lifetime in food service or the sweatshop. Riders to this bill, abolishing OSHA and unions, are recommended.

Internet Freedom Omnibus Bill
To keep the Internets free, America must know who is looking at what and why. Empowers Homeland Security to take aggressive action against freedom-hating sites like DailyKos and Atrios. Bloggers being critical of Administration policy may find themselves on a midnight flight to Syria.

Freedom of Worship Act
Americans are free to worship whomever they want, as long as worship takes place in a Southern Baptist Church. You may worship Jesus (the one who speaks American English and looks like John Tesh with a beard) or the Republican of your choice.

Tom Delay Punishment Amendment
Tom Delay is a bad, bad man. He should be punished for his ethical and criminal violations. Punishment will take the form of lifetime appointment to the House of Representatives.

Pfizer/Eli Lily/Monsanto/Wal-Mart Prescription Drug Plan
Authorizes payroll deductions for all workers in the United States to pay for prescription drugs. These deductions are initially set at 40%, subject to a raise by the board of directors of the above-mentioned companies.

Food Safety Bill
Allows corporations to become more competetive by eliminating wasteful food handling, food inspection, product labeling, or truth in advertising.

Armed Forces Registration Act
Everyone who wants to vote in any future election must enlist in the Army. Sponsored by the ghost of Robert Heinlein.

Clean Planet Act
All parks, lakes, rivers, and oceans shall be burned, cleared, and paved with sparkling concrete.

Something clever and smart!

There's a trailer for the new Zelda game and boy is it pretty. It reminds me of two things:

• I need to finish Ocarina of Time
• I need to finish Wind Waker

I'm currently playing Burnout 3. It's... OK. Not the thing you want to play right before driving everywhere, since one of the objects of the game is to cause as much property damage as possible. And if you get enough, you EXPLODE!

To be honest, I'm not sure why EA's lawyers didn't make them put 30 screens of "Don't drive like this in real life, dumbass" before playing.

Prince of All Cosmos vs. Prince of Peace

My money's on the Prince of All Cosmos.

(I can see now that my next cover Photoshop thingy is going to have to reference this in some way.)

Rick Gebhardt is running a contest! Win a copy of Daisy Kutter! You know you want to!

And while you're at it, see if you can win a copy of both Spider-Girl trades!

Me, I'm going to sit here and try to reconcile the glorious weather with the Return to Debtor Prison Bill that they passed this week. Maybe Kirk had the right idea when he was hallucinating he was Hawkeye.

They did their duty

A local volcano erupted yesterday evening, destroying three seismic sensors.

These sensors were not fighting, nor giant, nor even robots depending on which definition you followed. But in their devotion to duty and reporting on the movements of subterranean magma, they showed the true spirit of giant fighting robots.

The Volcano-Cam does not indicate where the sensors were placed, but in our logic cores, we know they are there.

That Romulan ale packs a wallop

The Avengers and Star Trek: the crossover that never was. (The old rec.arts.tv.mst3k folks may remember Treklander, though.)

It's a nice day outside and this is how I spend my lunch hour. I should probably seek medical attention.

Dazee Hill Puppee Farm

Kevin and I were talking about this We3 parody. (Note: it probably helps if you've read Get Fuzzy and We3.)

GiantFightingBot: That picture is sick and wrong.
GiantFightingBot: And funny.
BeaucoupKevin: It is.
BeaucoupKevin: First time I've laughed at Garfield in 15 years.
GiantFightingBot: It would work better with Bucky, I think.
BeaucoupKevin: Yeah, but he's just plain EVIL already.
BeaucoupKevin: Monkey Eat Monkey Eat get Monkey Run
BeaucoupKevin: Run 2 Run
BeaucoupKevin: Run Eat Monkey
GiantFightingBot: Man bad. Dog stupid eat monkey.
GiantFightingBot: Weasel fight.
GiantFightingBot: We3 fight weasel.
BeaucoupKevin: No Fight Weasel
BeaucoupKevin: Fungo get Fungo
BeaucoupKevin: Fungo Hug
GiantFightingBot: 2 Packin Smacky

I think Smacky first appears in Blueprint for Disaster, but I could be wrong. Bucky's obsession with monkey eating starts in Fuzzy Logic if I'm remembering right.

View from across the steet

One of the spec scripts in my head is a TV series that is the antithesis of Ed or The Gilmore Girls--somebody from a big town moves to a small town and remembers why they left.

I grew up in a town of about 600, which is about as close to a panopticon as you can get and still get to choose your own meals. (OK, I exaggerate for comedic effect, but still.) Everybody knew what you were doing because voices carry.

One of the internets has a thing called Watching America, which reminds us that we are not alone on this planet, as much as the administration's foreign policies would indicate. Interesting reading, much like the BBC News or the Guardian.

Speaking of our friends across the pond, I find it quite strange that we'll pay for endless reruns of Bargain Hunt, but nobody will touch the relaunched Doctor Who with a ten-meter pole. OK, maybe the former is cheap as chips, but a little David Dickinson goes a long way... Warren Ellis's review got me interested:

Well, it’s better than that brainless monstrosity of a TV movie that poor old Paul McGann battled through.

And, for the comics readers in the audience, that is indisputably a Bryan Hitch-designed TARDIS interior.

Christopher Eccleston, as the Doctor, is a delight. I imagine he'll settle down as the series progresses, but right now he’s a walking mood-swing--Tom Baker's mad grin and sudden command, Jon Pertwee's physicality, Patrick Troughton's impish side. And he's got a great old leather jacket. He keeps his Northern accent, and when his new assistant asks him why he sounds Northern when he's an alien, writer Russell Davies gives him the fine line: "LOTS of planets have a North!"

The Sci-Fi Channel passed--I guess they turned the savings into Mansquito. There's money well spent!

Bizarro think Justice League worst cartoon ever

Watching the Justice League Unlimited episode with the thinly-veiled Superfriends appearance. Plus bonus references to Suicide Squad and Justice League International.

If I were running DC, I'd be collecting older material like Suicide Squad and JLI in a series of trades. Maybe even Gemworld, which I hear good things about but have never read. Of course, if I were running DC, I'd have big-ass full-color collections of Mister Miracle coming out, too.

However, I will give them massive props for publishing Seven Soldiers. One issue into the projected 30-issue run (seven 4-issue runs and two bookend issues) and I'm already hooked.

Found this as I was looking for a copy of Superman Annual #7, which I found for a reasonable price.

I don't remember Officer Friendly talking like this.

I'm Giant Fighting Robot Ramone

Watching the first volume of Space Ghost: Coast to Coast.

The early episodes are a little slow--they're still finding a groove. But starting with Spanish Translation and CHiPs, they start to find their characters.

The weird thing about this is that almost every other guest on the show is dead. Timothy Leary, most of the Ramones, etc.

Later there will be a party with lemonade, a cake, and paper hats!

It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it

Currently reading Altered Carbon, and I see know why I keep getting recommendations based on my reading habits. It's set in a future of downloadable consciousness, custom-built bodies, and ansible communications but not much in the way of faster-than-light travel. It's a mystery set in a San Francisco of the future, where the narrator is a UN-trained special forces agent gone rogue, hired to rent a body and investigate the murder of a super-rich dude that is more than it seems.

A couple years ago, there was the New Space Opera, of which Revelation Space is perhaps my favorite. I haven't heard as much about it lately--science does come in waves and so perhaps we're gearing up for the New New Speculative Fiction. Or the New Cruelty. Not sure. I still like the New Space Opera in some ways--bigger than life, a bit of the old explodo when needed.

Speaking of the city by the Bay, the city that rocks, the city that never sleeps, something on the radio this morning reminded me of the Urban Iditarod. I was in San Francisco at this time last year, and just happened to catch the running of this.

We were walking down the street, and four guys in dog outfits run by, dragging a shopping cart. "Huh," we said. "That's weird." Then another cart came barrelling by. And another. Looking down the street, there were hundreds of teams, dressed in a wide variety of outfits and being escorted by the police. It was probably one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Super-Villain Team-up

They really should think about getting a second TV.

Housekeeping

I really need to buy some soy sauce, Tabasco sauce (perhaps the chipotle), and chutney for my desk at work. Oh, and some hot cock sauce. (Most people call it rooster sauce, but no, I gotta be more vulgar.)

The Lipstick Librarian shaves two inches off my height in her last missive--I have been 5'10" since my late teens--not the 5'8" previously reported. She is accurate in that I am quite fond of Battlestar Galactica.

Oh, and next time I go to the shop, I need to find a copy of SUPERMAN ANNUAL #7.

On a final note, sometimes the good guys win a few. Medicaid's bid to kill Lauren Rainey has been cancelled. And the Supreme Court decided to join the rest of the planet and abolish the death penalty for those under 18. We were the last country in the world to do so.

Funny, wasn't Bush just lecturing Putin on rights? Pot. This is kettle. You're black!

Don't Panic

A much better trailer for the HHGTTG film is up at UGO. (Thanks, Kevin.) Why is it that the non-American trailers are better than the ones we get here? (See an earlier entry about the Fantastic Four trailer being much better internationally...)

The best part of this trailer is the bit where Stephen Fry's voice is replaced by the standard "in a world gone madde" guy. You can't miss it.

March showers bring April showers bring May showers

It's beginning to look a lot like spring.

As I upload files into Delicious Library, every now and and again, certain authors that I like keep having recommendations for Altered Carbon.

Reading that on the bus this morning, I can see why--it's a science fiction story about consciousness downloading, mysteries, explosions, and walking around in rental bodies. So far I'm liking it a lot.