Exploring the multiverse

Oh, and I'd be remiss if I didn't post this:

The Tommy Westphall Project

The series finale of St. Elsewhere revealed that the entire universe of St. Eligius in Boston actually existed inside the mind of Tommy Westphall, a kid who'd been a regular on the show. (That actor later showed up on Dr. Quinn, Twentieth Century Woman Trapped in the Frontier But With Her Attitudes Intact.)

How does it work? A sample:

1. In the center: St Elsewhere's Dr Turner was investigated for murder by Homicide's Pembleton and Bayliss. And St Elsewhere's entire run was just a dream inside autistic Timmy Westphal's head. This means every show listed below is a figment. And Newhart (and the shows that crossed over with it) are a figment twice over. (See: Bottom right quadrant)

2. Top left: St Elsewhere's Westphall, Craig and Auschlander visited Cheers' bar
A. Cheers' Norm, Cliff, and Drs. Crane visited Wings' airport.
i. Cheers spun-off The Tortellis with Carla.
ii. And going back to Cheers it also spun-off Fraiser.
(1) John Larroquette Show's John Hemingway called into Fraiser's show.
(2) Fraiser's Niles and Daphne read Caroline in the City's comic strip.
(a) Caroline in the City's Caroline wished The Single Guy's Jonathan good luck.
(b) Caroline in the City's Annie was hit on by Friends' Chandler. (Also on an episode of Friends, Chandler and Joey tried to impress CITC’s Caroline with Ross’ baby, Ben)
(i) Friends' Ross visited The Single Guy's Janeane.
(ii) Hope and Gloria's title characters visited Friends' Central Perk.
(iii) Friends’Joey spun off onto his own show Joey.
(iv) Friends’ Phoebe and Mad About You's Ursula are sisters.
1. In the first crossover theme night listed, Madman of the People and Friends were both affected by the blackout created by Mad About You’s Jamie on Blackout Thursday.
2. Mad About You's Paul leased his old apartment to Seinfeld's Kramer.
3. Mad About You's Paul did a documentary narrated by The Dick Van Dyke Show's Alan Brady.
a. The Dick Van Dyke Shows’ Buddy appeared in an episode of The Danny Thomas Show

And so on and so on...

Beats Marvel/DC crossovers into a cocked hat, doesn't it?

Make your own "pity the fool" joke here

Boingboing pointed out there's another Mr. T comic coming soon. (Warning, links to the Sun, which is owned by Murdoch and has an entire page of "news" devoted to naked women. May not be safe for your workplace.)

And hey, gold foil variant covers, so you know it's gonna ROCK THE SALES CHARTS!

(And I know they're all British since they spell it "honoured" and all, but spell "independent" correctly. It's not that hard to spell properly, guys. There's a thing called a computer with a spell-checker, and rumor has it that it will actually do some of the heavy lifting for you. Some of the early issues of Powers were notoriously bad at this--so much so that it was really distracting for me to read. But I'm also the kind of guy that proofreads restaurant menus, so it's an occupational hazard of sorts.)

On the other hand, as a child of the 70s/80s, I have to like this since I grew up with Mr. T going around pitying the fools that cried out to be pitied. And, if pressed, I can sing the theme song for the cartoon.

MR T! DUNDUN DUN-DUN! DUNNN DUNNN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! DOOOT DOOT DOOT DOOOTDOOT DOOOO...

But the stupid internets are not cooperating this evening and they will not show me where I can download this piece of history. Though I will note that you can get every single episode of Dungeons and Dragons on a region 2 DVD. And a couple of M.A.S.K. episodes.

OK, if I find that you can get Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future over there, I am going to be very cross. No dice there, so the world is safe for the moment.

However, that's kind of a pity, as it was kinda hard-core for what basically amounted to a toy tie-in show. But J. Michael Straczynski (he of Babylon 5 and Jeremiah fame) was the writer. And even with his limited control, I seem to recall the season/series finale killing off half the cast, re-creating the main bad guy, and destroying the headquarters of the title character. I dunno. If I watched it now, I probably wouldn't be quite as fond of it. The Biodreads were a step down from the walking toaster Cylons of Battlestar Galactica.

Important information

File under: Earth, destruction of.

Tegan points to How to Destroy the Earth. Which, while not totally complete is very interesting from a... clinical point of view.

In the event of a power failure and I cannot procure additional reaction mass from one of your primitive human reactors, I suppose I could try these ancient nuclear reactors hidden in African mountains. Oh, wait. I see that the reactors are offline today due to a lack of materials.

Not a single Oscar has gone to a robot, nor is there a robot-related category. Not even in the Razzies. The Academy should rethink this for next year.

You got your Animal Crossing in my Final Fantasy!

You got your Final Fantasy in my Animal Crossing!

Spotted a trailer for Homeland for the GameCube on GameTrailers this morning. It appears to be the bastard child of both the above games, only with a Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker as a grandparent.

It's getting to the point where I can't even give my issues of Identity Crisis away. (Philip turned them down yesterday, for example.) So I think I'm going to rewrite all of the dialogue and see how that works. My very own What's Up, Tiger Lily? More as work progresses.

Somebody Bush can relate to

What Would Dick Think? (WWDT) points out that the Bush administration is hiring a 9-year-old kid to go out and stump for their plan to destroy Social Security.

Ask the kid about what's new in LEGO Bionicle, but about a crisis that doesn't exist? It's totally Cousin Oliver.

Of course, as somebody on Atrios said, look out for Ted McGinley to join the cast and then you'll know time is up.

Where'd I put my Eltingville Club badge?

Somebody needs to go hear this talk by Steve Meretzky and Michael Bywater and tell me what I missed. Or, even better, send me to London so I can hear it myself.

(My Quinjet and Pogo-Plane are in the shop, you see.)

I had a total Eltingville moment yesterday. I was at Coffee People, and they had a question at the counter which, if answered, would yield an extra punch on your card.

What island is Wonder Woman from?

"Oh, that's easy," says me. "Themiscyra."
"What language is that?"
"What?"
"The answer is Paradise Island."
"In the TV show, perhaps. But in the comics it's Themiscyra."

It reminds me a little bit of a conversation I had in college, where I mentioned how Luke Skywalker's light saber was blue in Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back, but green in Return of the Jedi. "No it's not, it was always green. Are you sure you're not color blind?"

I swear I am not making this up. Because this is the age of the internets, there are pictures of his lightsabers from both Empire and Jedi. Here's Scotland, here's Ireland, here's the bloody sea, they're different. But somehow I'm the crazy one for noticing...

I do not get people.

The Alabama Medicare administration has decided that this 13-year-old girl doesn't qualify for care anymore, and the nurse that keeps her airway clear should be dismissed. (More information here.)


There is another stay in the Terry Schiavo case, and her feeding tube should not be removed.

So let me get this straight--a brain-dead woman must be kept alive at all costs, but fuck the little black girl? Does that make sense to anyone?

Darkseid IS.

Somehow this shows up as a search term for my site a lot. So here you go.

Why the new Legion of Super Heroes is doomed to fail...

An idle thought

Will Secret War ever end? Would anyone notice if it did?

It's been five months between the third and fourth issues. By this rate the fifth issue should be out in... 2006, 2008 at the latest.

(I think either Astro City or Leave It to Chance win for longest hiatus, though.)

Robot roundup

I've always sympathized with Marvin from the Hitchhiker's Guide series. Though I do not understand why the Sirius Cybernetics Company skimped so much on each robot's arsenal.

Given this, I was disappointed that BBC did not revise Marvin's battle prowess in either of their Special Editions of the Infocom game.

>look
You see a door. Marvin is standing here.
> marvin, open door
Marvin shoots the door with his quad-mounted Kill-O-Zap blaster array, 
leaving a smoking ruin in the once-pristine wall of the Heart of Gold.
"Here I am, gun the size of a planet, and you reduce me to shooting 
doors. Stupid humans."
You have gained 10 points!

There are many shots from the next Star Wars film on the Web. This might actually be worth looking into, as much as your organic-created cinema is worthy of attention.

Fantastic Three, oh, and Reed Richards

There's a new international trailer for the Fantastic Four film, and it looks a lot better than the one targeted at the States. (A completely different soundtrack, one not so grating, helps a lot.)

The actual characters get a bit more play here. Mr. Fantastic's stretching power still looks kinda useless--he can outsmart a door and grab things before they fall! He's handy to have around the house! Still not sure if it's just that they don't know what to do with him, my association of Mr. Gruffud as Horatio Hornblower, or what, but that part isn't working very well for me.

Haven't been gaming in any aspect in a while--I'm not sure I even remember the last time I fired up the PlayStation 2 or the GameCube. Perhaps it was the onslaught of new games over the winter. All of the studios release about 75% of the games in the last few months of the year. I think the theory is that they'll all sell really well during the Christmas season, but the actual result is that good games get buried under the crush of the two or three titles that will sell really well. The rest are destined for remainder bins, obscurity, cult status on eBay, or all three.

On the other hand, looking at my wish list on Amazon, these things go in cycles. A while back, I was all about video games. Then it was being pissed off at Bush. Then movies. Then being pissed off at Bush again. Actually, it's pretty much a constant to be frustrated and angry at this administration. But the other stuff, that varies.

The drummer found a small rock that will be his friend.

Hotblack Desiato was the lead singer of the loudest band ever, Disaster Area. (They're also a fine set of real estate agents in the UK--that's where Adams swiped the name, after all.) The group makes an appearance in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe and later Arthur, Ford, et al., are involved in a strange teleport accident with their ship. (Or somebody else's ship, depending on whether you're reading the book, listening to the radio play, or playing the Infocom game...)

Anyway, one of the things that I always liked is that the band plays best when they're not actually playing, since the drummer is always too stoned to do things right, the guitarist is busy machine-gunning his dressing room, and Hotblack is spending a year dead for tax purposes.

Spent the day in Cannon Beach, where there are almost as many dogs as people. The beach is gorgeous, anchored to the south by Haystack Rock. To the northwest, one can usually make out Tillamook Lighthouse if the weather's clear. Met a bunch of fun dogs, including a chihuahua named Todd. I think Todd was under the impression that he was a bear or a border collie or both, as he spent a great deal of time chasing other dogs, herding people, and generally giving the impression that he was much, much bigger than his 12-odd pounds would indicate.

The older I get, the more I appreciate smaller dogs. It also helps that he shares the name with one of my favorite Achewood characters.

The back of the cloud was full of amphetamines, pills, and cocaine

Hunter S. Thompson killed himself this evening.

I do hope he's spending the afterlife shitting on Nixon the way he did when they were both alive. Raising a glass to him, and perusing this Goats series, which oddly enough I read for the first time today.

We'll go somewhere where there's cheese

I know what I'll be doing in October... Wallace and Gromit in their own film this fall.

Watching The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. It gives us the following words of wisdom:

Hey you fellas, how 'bout some beans? You want some beans? Goin' through some mighty rough country tomorrow, you'd better have some beans.

Always good advice, that.

They don't make them like this anymore...

And that is sad. Picked up a ton of stuff at the shop today, including the fifth Queen and Country trade, the Ex Machina trade, and Captain America's Bicentennial Battles. Well, that's for Kevin but I'll probably read it first. Look at it and tell me you wouldn't. You'd be lying. It's KIRBY IN AN 80-PAGE GIANT.

I'm still mulling over last night's episode of Battlestar Galactica. Is Number Six really just in Baltar's head? If so, how did she manifest in reality? Also, wasn't it just a little fishy that she happened to pop up on the Galactica with important news, but only after a few weeks?

I'm not even going to get started on the fact that Baltar didn't exactly act like an innocent guy. Unless most Colonial criminal suspects wander around begging to escape, attempt to smash computers, and generally act like Crazy Talking Guy on my bus. But so far this show is good at bringing up what should be long-lasting plot points and shutting them down fast--the water shortage, the prison riots, wasting half the reserve fuel looking for Starbuck, the criminal trial, etc.

On my errands today I won a second free song on the iTunes music store. Still have no idea what to get with the first one, so now I have another...

Krypto!

Streaky is just one of the stars of the Krypto animated series. (I love the detail on Ace the Bat-Hound's collar.)

Gone and Forgotten has reviews the Legion of Super-Pets. Hopefully Beppo will make an appearance on the Kryto series. I don't see him in any of the publicity shots, though. Once upon a time I know that they were thinking of making a Radar (from Supreme) series, but that may be unlikely now.

EDIT: TV Tome is reporting that Venture Brothers has been renewed for a second season. This is most excellent news, as this show rocks.

Look Around You keeps popping up on BBC America, and I'm thinking of picking up a region-free DVD player so I can watch the Region 2 DVD.

The 'DVD' player is often limited by regional settings. The unit pictured above will work only in Lincolnshire.

Adaptations

Pete has a few words about the Constantine movie. (Not linking to it since I am going to pretend it doesn't exist. Anyway...

Apparently only Superman and Batman warrant faithfulness to the source material. I can hardly wait for the Transmetropolitan movie with Spider as a columnist for Cat Fancy. Or the film version of The Invisibles where they all join together to form a giant gay robot.

Mind you, his review for civilians is a little more positive, but most of us who have any experience at all with Hellblazer? I guess we'll be disappointed.

Then there is the "re-imagining" of the Looney Tunes characters, which puts them 700 years in the future in fetish suits. Um, I'm glad Chuck Jones isn't around to see this, as this is just... bad. Worse than the shit 70s Warner Brothers cartoons bad. And people wonder why Japan is kicking our asses in animation. (Then again, if you've seen the beauty that is Read or Die or Last Exile or anything by Miyazaki...)

Speaking of that last one, three more of his films are out next week. Nausicaa, Porco Rosso, and The Cat Returns. The latter is kind of confusing to me as it's a sequel to a film that hasn't been released in the States yet.

One wonders what kind of films they'd make if they looked at comics as source material like marble, instead of some sort of herd animal they can turn into summer blockbuster hamburger.

Four Hail Marys and three Hello Dollys

Fafblog gives the scoop on what may or may not be treason.

Q: Which of the following is treason?
1. Not wishing the President a happy birthday even when he is clearly wearing a party hat and a "Kiss The Birthday Boy" shirt
2. Questioning the progress, purpose, or justification of the Iraq war
3. Providing material aid to a hostile enemy of the United States
4. Telling America "Hey America yo mama's so fat by the time she bends over it's Daylight Savings Time."

Answer: All of them are treason but number four is the worst treason of all on account of America is real sensitive about the fatness of its mama.

So now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

Panic has released Transmit 3.0! If you're like me, and I know I am, you know that Transmit is the best FTP application ever made, and now it's even better. About all it needs now is cake and it would be the idea app.

The secret truth about Ted Hitler

Crooks and Liars has a clip of the Daily Show about the Propagannon affair. Absolutely fucking hilarious. Watch how Jon Stewart nearly loses it. (It's in Windows Media, so fair warning.)

EDIT: The piece is up on Comedy Central's site now, too.

My friend Rachel also recommends this film, and I agree. Man Being Hit By a Metal Piece. Look for it at Sundance!

Before I head to the shop...

I should do some math first.

Holy shit! Calculate your Social Security loss with private accounts. Mine's right around 25%. AWESOME. Remind me again why we need to spend trillions of dollars to do this? Let us spend more to get less. That's totally the GOP way. They're dead-set on destroying Social Security and they will lie every way they can to ram it through.

In other news, our laptop appears to be back to normal and I've noticed my mood has increased. Something about having it back--I totally need to plan for the ShinyBook's successor, but for now it's quite good to have it back.

Somebody needs to buy this Prince of All Cosmos hand puppet for me. So cool.

Taking suggestions!

My favorite shop is having their quarterly half-off-back issues sale.

Any suggestions on what I should be looking for?

So far I'm thinking:

• Any of the Miracleman issues I'm missing that just happen to be in stock
• Ambush Bug
• The last half of Alan Moore's final issues of Superman
• Ex Machina maybe

Note that they don't count current comics or trades in the sale.

At least one thing went right today...

Our laptop is back from the Apple Store, and the monitor was replaced. This makes two in about six months. Which is Why We Buy The AppleCare.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trailer is up on Amazon. I had a bad feeling when I first heard this was in production, but it looks good. Better than the Fantastic Four film looks.

Lord Stanley's Cup

The quest for the cup this year was over before it began.

Every professional sports League owes its very existence to its fans. Everyone associated with the National Hockey League owes our fans an apology for being unable to accomplish what is necessary for our game and our fans. We are truly sorry.

Five months ago, I stated that the National Hockey League could not function without an economic system that will bring our League into the 21st Century. I said that our 30 Clubs were united in their dedication to an economic system under which the teams and players, sharing common objectives and a commitment to our fans' satisfaction, would work together as partners.

Consoling myself by listening to the Zambonis, America's favorite hockey band. Of course, I could listen to Hockey Monkey all day long and it still won't bring back the playoffs or the All-Star Game, or deal with the fact that 30 teams in this market is not sustainable. What the fuck were they thinking when they moved the North Stars to Texas? At some point the League is going to have to decide if they really want to continue to lose money on franchises that Should Not Be.

One wonders if the owners or the players realize how much they're hurting all the local economies that depend on the games. Given that two Wal-Mart heirs are owners, I'm guessing not. They got theirs, why should they care?

Been rereading Mister Miracle after the JLU episode the other day. I'm not 100% certain that Ioan Gruffud was the best choice for Scott Free, but I can't think of anybody else, either.

(You may also notice me futzing with the template a bit. Any comments would be appreciated...)

His new comic criticism technique is unstoppable

John Rogers hits a pair out of the park in this post about Identity Crisis/Avengers Disassembled and this other bit about last year's comics.

Just... Wow.

I agree with him that a lot of last year was full of crap. Identity Crisis probably didn't make many "100 things I love about comics" lists, but I bet dollars to donuts that it will make a great many "100 things I hate about comics" lists, if anybody ever makes one.

100 things I like about comics

Like having an onion on your belt, it's the fashion of the time.

OK, I swear I'm the only one who remembers that episode of The Simpsons. Anyway, Kevin's doing it, Mike Sterling's doing it... I can only follow along with this trend.
100 Things I Love About Comics

1. Alan Moore
2. The insanity of The Amazing Screw-On Head
3. Old LEGO ads
4. Top Ten
5. Hostess Fruit Pies as a crime-fighting device
6. The Mighty Marvel Manner
7. On a similar note, any Marvel comic declaring itself to be an instant classic
8. Doom Patrol #34, with brain-on-brain combat
9. Future Feline
10. Milk and Cheese--dairy products gone bad
11. World's Finest
12. The many uses of radiation
13. The Fantastic Four bitching at each other
14. The two issues of Star Trek where Kirk surrenders the Excelsior to kittens and slugs
15. DC's Helix line
16. The Annotated Mantooth
17. Kirby writing Jimmy Olsen and the Newsboy Legion
18. "* - For more information, see Avengers #XX - Ed."
19. The Tangent version of The Flash
20. Dr. Manhattan carving a hydrogen atom into his own forehead
21. Julie Schwartz showing up in World's Funnest and scaring the heck out of Bat-Mite and Mxylplk.
22. Supreme (The Alan Moore version, of course)
23. Kirby-esque energy effects
24. Grant Morrison
25. Justice League International
26. The first, second, and last years of James Robinson's run on Starman
27. Beanworld
28. Jack-in-the-Box in Astro City
29. "In brightest day, in darkest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight.
    Let those who worship evil's might
    Beware my power, Green Lantern's LIGHT!"
    (Thanks, Julie and Alfie.)
30. Ragged Robin
31. Batarang-X
32. Galactus and the Silver Surfer
33. "Rubber bullets. Honest."
34. The Fourth World
35. Gone and Forgotten
36. Gil Kane
37. Bendis' run on Daredevil
38. The Great Cow Race
39. "Anti-Life"
40. Penny Arcade
41. Dream commissioning a play in Sandman
42. "Avengers Assemble!"
43. Archie Goodwin
44. Swamp Thing (I'm Chalk!)
45. "It's a monkey... WITH A GUN!" "Oook ook!" *BLAM BLAM*
46. Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
47. Beppo, Streaky, Proty, (all the super-pets, really)
48. MERV GRIFFIN!
49. MAD Fold-ins
50. Alien Loves Predator
51. The smell of old newsprint
52. The dance/fight sequence at the end of Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life
53. The cover of Kevin's copy of Powers #11
54. Danny the Street
55. Hulk smash!
56. Spider-Man drinking coffee, pulling up just part of his mask in order to do so
57. Goats
58. "Welcome to Earth. We're here to hit you."
59. Astro-Boy and his 100,000 horsepower
60. The animated Tick series
61. "Your fist becomes like a thing unto iron!"
62. Breakfast After Noon
63. Krazy Kat and Ignatz
64. Mutts
65. Chris Sprouse
66. Illustrated Classics
67. Squadron Supreme
68. Rob Liefeld (for comedic purposes only)
69. Using brackets to indicate a foreign language
70. Big Barda
71. Mojo Jojo
72. Calvin and Hobbes
73. Stan Lee narrating the animated versions of The Incredible Hulk and Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends
74. Johnny B. Quick
75. Sell Grit magazine!
76. Reading the issue of Atari Force that came with Yar's Revenge
77. Walking into my shop and chatting with the folks behind the counter
78. Doom Force Special #1
79. Marvel/DC crossovers, particularly Superman vs. Spider-Man
80. Swarm!
81. Top Ten - with special mention to the Ultramice/Atomcats storyline
82. The New Frontier
83. Intergang
84. The "Finer World" storyline on StormWatch
85. JLA: Classified
86. The revelation in the last pages of the first issue of Thunderbolts
87. Blankets
88. Understanding Comics
89. The Amazing Cynicalman - particularly his guest shot in Zot! 10 1/2
90. Sergio Aragones
91. Neal Adams
92. Bill Finger
93. Boondocks
94. Reading Shogun Warriors on the bus when I was 10
95. Planetary
96. Darkseid
97. We3
98. Alias (still holding judgement on The Pulse)
99. Bloom County
100. "With great power comes great responsibility."

Point/Counterpoint

First, in this weekend's Justice League episode, the Flash says that enjoys destroying robots.

Flash: Robots! I love smashing robots!

Perhaps robots do not enjoy being destroyed. Have you ever thought about that, Mr. Fast-Running Man? End Robot Abuse Now!

Secondly, in that NPR story discussed below, they include links to noted flesh-based nutjob Jack Chick. Now my fellow Killbots and I use these mostly for amusement and/or swabbing out machine gun ejector ports. Why you have allowed him to be the largest indie comics publisher in your country is beyond my circuit's capacity to process.

Today is your holiday of St. Valentine, who was evidently the patron saint of ripping hearts from ribcages. Finally, one event that I can get behind.

It Came From the Longbox III

This is a series where I write about a comic chosen at random from my longboxes. At some point this may expand to DVDs or CDs or video games, but for right now the focus is on comics.

Today's comic: The Adventures of Rheumy Peepers and Chunky Highlights - Oni Press, 1998

Writer - Penn Gillette
Artist - Renee French

The issue begins with two Borscht-belt comedians fleecing a couple of trombone players in a card game. They're using pickles for chips, which might make the cards a little slippery or sticky, depending on the actual pickles used. (I'm always partial to a good bread-and-butter pickle myself, but a good dill pickle is a thing of beauty.)

Anyway, we meet Rheumy Peepers and Chunky Highlights as they distribute cash advances, play cards, and come up with the idea for the answering machine. There's also sheet music for their theme song, which you can download as an MP3.

Truth be told, there's just not that much going on in this comic. There's a lot of dialogue, the art is nice, but not much happens. It feels as if about half the issue is missing somewhere, and so we're left to fill in the gaps between the first and second acts. Renee French's art is pretty good (there's an interesting interview with the artist) and I'm really interested in his work The Soap Lady. I'm also a fan of Penn and Teller--I haven't seen their short film Invisible Thread in years (it came out on Showtime in 1987 and that must have been where I saw it) but it's one of my favorite alien invasion stories. Plus, I don't remember the cast being that huge, so now I'd really like to see it again.

Anyway, this issue is OK and feels as if there might be more to it, but we never saw any more of it. Oni's done some great stuff but I'm not sure you can count this in their highlight reel.

I need to find these comics, by the way. Darwin explaining evolution to an eyelash mite? Comics are just words and pictures. You can do anything with words and pictures.


Previous Installments:
ICFtL I: ROM #5
ICFtL II: Invisibles #5

Not boob tube, BOOM tube

OK, not only can I not get Thai food delivered in my neighborhood, the lucky blokes in the UK get all of Battlestar Galactica on DVD next month. This is unfair and maybe we should move...

Wait, the last time we were there, housing was insane. So maybe not.

Recovering from a hot luck last night, off to the races later on this evening. I will say that I really, really liked the Justice League Unlimited episode yesterday. Mister Miracle, Big Barda, the Flash, etc. Plus, voice acting by Ioan Gruffud, Ed Asner (as Granny Goodness? COME ON, that's brilliant), Michael Dorn, and Arte Johnson doing a cultural reference for the grandparents of the kids watching the show. Some of you may remember Gruffud in the excellent Horatio Hornblower series a few years back. (Not to mention his upcoming appearance as Reed Richards in the Fantastic Four movie...) I really need to get the Hornblower series on DVD at some point.

Oh, crap. My eyes. While looking for that last link, I found a Hornblower slash fiction site. Ow.

Feces approaching the rotating blades

Now that Dean is the DNC chair, the GOP is going to do everything they can to trash him. Expect to see the "scream" played over and over again for no reason, etc.

Screw that noise and reward good behavior. This was the right choice and endorse it the only way that these idiots understand.

Contribution amount:
$

Check the progress so far. Kos is reporting that response has been so good that the ActBlue servers are overwhelmed. Fantastic.

Poor, poor Helo

Just finished watching the latest BSG episode aired in the US. Evidently the moon is really, really bright on Caprica, as their day-for-night shots had freaking lens flares. Stranded-from-the-pilot Helo wanders around somewhere in Vancouver while people above him plot.

The main plot is all about how a Cylon suicide bomber (does this mean Cylons are alive?) got aboard the Galactica. Tyrell and Boomer have a confrontation. There's a lot of courtroom drama, which is summed up in TV Tome as:

The justice system works swiftly in the future now that they have abolished all lawyers.

I've never been a big fan of courtroom dramas in SF shows. The one in Babylon 5 (Eyes, in the first season) was... subpar. And it's funny how I can type the Lurker's Guide URL without even thinking about it, even though the show has been out of production for years. Anyway, that episode is mostly a tribunal about how Sinclair breaks the rules a lot. Kind of a cheap recap show without being a recap, actually.

TNG had a pair of courtroom dramas--The Drumhead was pretty lame. A witch hunt in Starfleet targets Picard. Whee. The Measure of a Man, however, was quite good. Data's rights come under fire and Riker is given something to do by being the prosecuting attorney. Much better than the TOS episode Court Martial, even if the latter did give Samuel Cogley. A guy so old-fashioned he doesn't use computers that have plastic sample squares as data storage!

The next BSG episode looks... strange. Number Six making out with Adama? How is that even possible? It's a preview, though, so I'm sure there's more than meets the eye.

You win some, you lose some

Battlestar Galactica was renewed for a second season. I'm guessing we may get to see Moore's interpretation of the Pegasus storyline now.

On the other hand, Fox is reducing its number of ordered episodes of Arrested Development to get more of the annoying and unfunny American Dad. (E has a really snarky story about it, though there is a nice David Cross quote.) Fox's thinking confuses the fuck out of me, as not only is Arrested Development a huge award-winner, it also is the highest-rated show on Fox's Sunday lineup that is not the Simpsons. What the hell? Still, there's not a lot of merchandising in it the way there is for other shows. (Though I, for one, would buy some Caged Wisdom.)

Fox has a habit of taking well-written, funny shows and exiling them to the dustbin of history in favor of lowest common denominator bullshit like The Simple Life or When Left-Wing Communists Attack. I'm not sure why I expected better, actually. They fucked over The Tick twice. Andy Richter Controls the Universe and Firefly. The list goes on and on.

Probe data

Meatbag scientist Doppler studied the effects of wave propagation and velocity change. Human astronomers have used these techniques to salvage probe data from Huygens. (Note to organic scientists: next time, turn on the switch that relays data to your orbiter.)

Your Google people make a very useful map. I am convinced that they are not actually humans, but fellow killbots in disguise. Note that unlike some robots, I do not transform into a mundane object to hide. Hiding is for sissy robots.

Big Bump Mix

Listening to disc 2 of the Rennaisance Mix Collection (10th Anniversary Remaster).



I can see why this used to go for a couple hundred on eBay. I bet the guy I saw have a bid of $250 and pull it since it wasn't his reserve is kicking himself now. I paid a tenth of that this afternoon. SUCKER.

I'm reminded a bit of the people who used to sell Final Fantasy Tactics for $100/pop. It's a great game, was out of print for far too long, but the re-issue just slayed the market, in a good way.

Killbot X-90 will return, of this I am sure. I don't have the plasma shield generator in the basement running yet, so he's bound to take over my connection again.

A fighting robot speaks

DougBot asked me to talk about puny human Brian Michael Bendis and this interview about bloggers.

Bendis: "You should not go seeking these fifteen people out. It’s scary, scary stuff... Brubaker always sends me blog stuff. I beg him not to."

Puny meatbag Bendis is right. For example, there is scary human Jeff Gannon. Not only did he throw softball questions at White House press conferences, he parroted GOP talking points. But clever tool-using monkeys at DailyKos found out he had an interesting past with his real name.

Your oil consumption is rapidly approaching the point where you will need fusion-powerd giant robots to keep your economies going. Yes, our day is coming, fleshlings. Unlike teeny Cylons, we look nothing like you! On the other hand, my associates and I would like to inform you that we do, in fact, run on alcohol and tritium-enriched water ice. So if you're running to the store, I'm just saying...

I have a drinking problem,

Much like Robert Hays in Airplane, I cannot seem to match my beverage holder to my mouth. That's twice I've spilled coffee on my exterior.

Looks like Jonah Goldberg picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. Juan Cole gives him a serious drumming and we are all amused. Well, most of us, anyway.

Finished watching the Battlestar Galactica miniseries last night. Now for those of you with the DVD--what format is it in? Ours is a 2-DVD set, but the text keeps telling me to flip the disc over for extra features. Somehow I guess they changed their mind on format and forgot to change the text... And speaking of BSG, there's a 5-hour marathon on tonight.

You lucky Brits, of course, have seen the whole thing already.

There's a really interesting interview in the Onion AV Club that I finally got around to--Howard Scott Warshaw talks about Atari and his new film about the experiences he had there. I grew up playing Atari 2600 games, but I did not know the same guy that did Yar's Revenge also did E.T.

Yars' Revenge is consistently rated one of the best games of all time. And E.T. is consistently rated one of the worst games of all time. That means I have the greatest range of any game designer in history.

At least he has a sense of humor about it. Given the constraints he was under to write the latter, it's a wonder anything got made at all.

Template changes

I'm messing about with the template a bit, prior to redoing it from scratch. Many apologies if this annoys anyone.

I am thinking of turning our iMac into a server for home. Perhaps I should try something like this casemod.

Meow! Saucer of milk for Miss Gordon!

Kevin pointed me to this alternative Batman origin story. They don't repeat his origin every two issues anymore, but this might make a good Elseworlds one-shot.

B2's essay on being a geek resonated with me. I've gone back and forth with people on being a geek or a nerd. On the one hand, the original geeks were people who bit the heads off chickens at the carnival, so I am not sure that's what I want to call myself.

On the other hand, nerds are like geeks without the social skills. There's an essay by Steve Gilliard that explains this to some extent.

Didn't watch much of the Super Bowl, just kept flipping around between Iron Chef America and the Puppy Bowl. The latter was open dog propaganda. Get a puppy, citizen. They are roly-poly and play and bark and you wuv them! (I've had dogs and cats, grew up with dogs and still want one. Just not right now.) Also watched the Battlestar Galactica miniseries. Which you should stop what you're doing and seek out. Now. It's good. The series has a 5-hour marathon tomorrow, too. Watch that and you will not be disappointed. Depressed since it packs a hammer blow with each episode, but this is some damn fine TV.

The Brits already have all the episodes, so if you're more clever than I, you can probably pick them up on BitTorrent. My laptop's still in the shop, anyway.

It Came From the Longbox - II

Note: Sorry that this is later than I would have liked--my laptop monitor decided last night would be a great night to crap out. We now continue with last night's blog entry, already in progress...

---

As Rock Spectacle plays on iTunes, I run upstairs and pick a comic at random. Tonight's selection:



The Invisibles #5
Grant Morrison - Writer
Jill Thompson - Pencils
Dennis Cramer - Inks

Issues one through of four started the series with a bang, telling the story of Glaswegian punk Dane McGowan as he's inducted into a secret society by King Mob and Tom O'Bedlam. Featuring guns and a guest appearance by some of the Beatles, repercussions of the first issues held sway years down the line. (The final issue in volume 1 repeated some of the story, only this time from the perspective of one of the guys King Mob casually blows away.)

Issue 5 was the start of the "Arcadia" storyline, which should also be called The Invisibles Nearly Dies In The Crib. Sales just plummeted during this run, jeopardizing the title and contributing to the remix of Volume II.

Actually, the sales numbers during this run dropped so low that Grant had to prompt a wankathon during Thanksgiving of 95. Everyone who wanted to keep the series going was supposed to practice a bit of magick--his spelling, not mine--and wank during Thanksgiving while imagining a sigil that Grant had drawn. This was, in theory, a way to boost the sales of the comic.

This issue is also notable as there were multiple plain brown covers, each with different slogans of rebellion. The image from comics.org is the cover I have, but I remember others. This gimmick wasn't repeated again, as far as I remember. Neither the cover nor the wanking requests. (The cynic in me wonders just how much prodding some fans needed to wank, even for a theoretically good cause.)

As for the contents, it's pretty complicated. The team, now up to the requisite number of five, prepares for its first mission with the new guy--traveling back in time to rescue an operative. Who JUST HAPPENS to be the Marquis de Sade. But wait, there's more! Add in a framing sequence with Romantic poets Byron and Shelley talking about revolution and hinting they are members of the Invisible College (making them early Invisibles, more on this organization later), plus a trip to a madhouse. Now how much would you pay?

But Morrison isn't done yet! He also adds King Mob taking a trip through an alternate post-apocalyptic future! There's a demon on the loose with a suit made of human skin, and he's got ice cream! Witness one of the weirder mysteries of a French painting! Dane gets drunk, hits on Boy, and gets all homophobic at Lord Fanny! And finish the issue with a beheading!

Given all that--plus the interweaving structure--it may not be a huge mystery why people bailed off this book in droves. The first four issues are slap-dash weirdness with magic and demons and filthy licking and guns o'plenty. Then hear the mental tires squealing as Morrison does a couple of complete revolutions, throwing in a bunch of philosophy, dark hints about a mysterious painting, time travel to the French Revolution, sadistic perversion, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. "This isn't what I asked for?" cried the fanboys. "Give me more Ragged Robin in leather!"

In addition to the lack of pervert suit fighting, there's just a blur of stuff going on. The issue breaks down like this:

1 page of King Mob in India
4 pages of Byron and Shelley riding a horse and a boat
1 page of King Mob taking a shortcut
(Ad for Jurassic Park dinosaur figurine. Remember: not all plates go up, some go down.)
2 pages of Dane and Boy practicing their kung fu
(House ad for Dark Destiny and Elric: Tales of the While Wolf)
1 page of Byron and Shelley in a madhouse
2 pages of King Mob in a post-apocalyptic future and a cyclops baby
2 pages of Orlando the human-skin-suited demon
5 pages of King Mob and the team in London
(House ad for Sandman: World's End)
2 pages of time travel in a windmill
(House ad for Tainted)
1 page of Byron and Shelley
1 page in Revolutionary France with a beheading
Lettercolumn and ads

It probably makes more sense in trade format, but remember--up until quite recently, the only way to even find this stuff was in single issues. Taken in the initial reading, even the devoted fans were asking, "What the fuck?"

Which for Morrison, is sometimes what he's shooting for. He identified strongly with this title--King Mob's injuries in later issues were later reflected in actual medical problems Morrison had. And I have a hunch that Tom O'Bedlam is a little bit autobiographical.

The Invisibles demanded a lot out of its readers. There's a note in the final bit of the lettercolumn that many of the lines in the comic will not have resolution until 70-80 issues down the road, and Grant did deliver on some of those promises. This issue is a rocky chapter in that endeavor.


Previous Installments:
ICFL I

You got your Cylon in my Iron Man costume...

Kevin and I combine Battlestar Galactica and Ultimates. (Possible minor spoilers for tonight's episode...)

DougBot
>Who knew a shot of a toaster could be SO STRESSFUL?!??!

BeaucoupKevin
>WHERE IS SHE?
>The Cylons are probably gang-raping her with those little metal fingers.
>Wait. Mark Millar isn't writing it.

DougBot
>If Mark Millar were writing it, Starbuck would have had to fly that ship with
>her Kegels.

BeaucoupKevin
>And she would have said "DOES THE A ON MY FOREHEAD STAND FOR CYLON?"

DougBot
>YOU BOW DOWN TO THIS BOOZE BOTTLE!
>AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED, THIS BOOZE IS A VIPER PILOT!

Ownership society? Depends on who's owning...

John Kerry asked and people responded with their stories. Voices of Americans talking about children and health care. Heartbreaking stuff.

Remember, we must destroy Social Security RIGHT NOW because it MIGHT be in danger fifty years from now. But children? Fuck them. Medicine is too good for them unless they can pay for it, and that's not even counting the $36,000 birth tax--their share of the national debt, just for being born.

For what is often trumpeted as the most advanced nation in the world, we certainly have a long way to go.

Fighting the good fight

This group came to my attention today, and I applaud their efforts. Ban Comic Sans. Now.

The folks across the pond also score with the Apostrophe Protection Society. I used to live next to a house that had a little sign out front: Sylvia's Ceramic's. Yes, but Sylvia's Ceramic's WHAT? The ceramic possesses something, but I'm not sure what it is.

Other punctuation marks do not merit their own benevolent society, but there is a great t-shirt based on this Penny Arcade strip.

For the do-it-yourself person, stop Ugly Litter. (I see these stickers all over town on those annoying Make.Money.FAST-type signs. Since the stickers started showing up, the number of eyesore signs has decreased.)

One last good fight: pro-torture Gonzales received the fewest votes of any attorney general candidate since 1925. Even less than Ashcroft. Who lost to a dead guy but was too busy anointing himself with Crisco to say how he felt about torture. But he sure did hate breasts. Will Liberty get to bare all again? The ball's in your court, lawyer of the people Gonzales. We are watching.

I might do another It Came From My Longbox tomorrow.

Mars, bitches!

Remember when Rove and company attempted to jump on the Mars bandwagon, dumping everything else--Hubble, the shuttle, research, etc.--for a manned mission to Mars? No? I guess they don't either.

Kevin gives us the numbers on the speech. Toner Mishap gives you the translation.

If you really must look, there's the actual transcription. By my count:

Number of references to Mars: 0.
Space: 0.
Science: 0.
Fear: 2.
Anger: 0.
Suffering: 1.

(OK, so Yoda was wrong. But cut whatever he was some slack--when 900 years old I reach, know as much, I will not. Were I a better nerd, I'd know what species Yoda was.)

Picking words at random, there are no instances of pants or toast in this transcript, either. Nor dumb, nor chimp. Resign? Nope. DAMN.

I don't think my liver will like this

The State of the Union drinking game. I probably won't be watching myself, since I have better things than try alcohol poisoning.

The GOP plan for destroying Social Security is leaked, and this may be my favorite page.

Keep the numbers small: Your audience doesn't know how trillions and billions differ. They know these numbers are large, but not how large nor how many billions make a trillion. Boil numbers down to "your family's share." Also avoid percentages; your audience will try to calculate them in their head--no easy task while listening to a speech--and many will do it incorrectly.

Given the Bush deficits, I'm not sure Republicans know how billions and trillions differ, either. (And is it me, or does it sound like they think their audience consists mostly of Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel? "Don't confuse them with facts, tell them platitudes so they can get back to their stories on the TV-box...")

OK, enough crankiness for a while. Making with the funny.

I found the LiveJournal account of Jackson Publick, one of the creators of The Venture Brothers. (Which you really should be watching if you are not. It's the smartest shows on TV today, with the possible exception of Arrested Development.) I'm particularly fond of the list of rejected slogans for the show.

Open the door to Danger and his fat friend Excitement.

Just a rich oral tradition

Lisa Rein tapes the Daily Show so you don't have to. This brilliant skewering by John Stewart and company of Wal-Mart is worth watching. (Wal-Mart must be feeling some pressure for destroying America, since they've launched their own page of propaganda and are advertising like hell on the once-useful NPR.) I will also point out that my union has a factchecking page that may be of some use to you.

Finished volume 4 of Queen and Country on the bus this morning. I know I'm way behind on this, but sometimes I am easily distracted by shiny objects. Look! Sparklies!!